April Fool’s Day
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
– Douglas Adams
“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”
– Max Eastman
“Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness.”
– Sacha Guitry
No Housework Day – April 7
“Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?”
– Phyllis Diller
“The cruel irony of housework: people only notice when you don’t do it.”
– Danielle Raine
“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”
– Erma Bombeck
“I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.”
– Roseanne Barr
“Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.”
– Mario Buatta
“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”
– Erma Bombeck
Encourage Young Writers Day – April 19
“I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.”
– Stephen King
“Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.” – Mark Twain
“Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.”
– Ernest Hemingway
“First, find out what your hero wants, then just follow him!”
– Ray Bradbury
“Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”
– Barbara Kingsolver
“Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.” – Orson Scott Card
Humorous Day – April 19
“It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person.”
– Lindsey Richards
“If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
– The Funny Beaver
“My dentist told me I needed a crown. I was like, I know, right?”
– Elizabeth Acosta
“How’s the diet going?
Not good. I had eggs for breakfast.
Scrambled?
Cadbury.”
– Pris Stronach
“Why aren’t iPhone chargers called apple juice?”
– Donna Hogan
“No matter how old I get, I think I will always have to mentally sing the ABC’s to see what letter comes next.”
– Sherri Lynn
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.”
– Unknown
“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
Earth Day – April 22
“A true conservationist is a man who knows that the world is not given by his fathers, but borrowed from his children.”
– John James Audubon
“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.”
– John Muir
“Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”
– Jane Goodall
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Digging in the Dirt!
“Anyone who thinks gardening begins in the spring and ends in the fall is missing the best part of the whole year; for gardening begins in January with the dream.”
– Josephine Neuse
Garden signs
“Gardener Wanted. Must look good bending over.”
“Feel free to talk to these plants. They understand.”
“Overgrownus bontanicus – Weeds”
“Frog parking only. All others will be toad.”
“Trespassers will be composted.”
“Give a weed an inch and it will take a yard.”
“Compost is proof that there is life after death.”
“You know you’re a gardener when everything you see becomes a planter.”
“On a garden shop sign – It’s Spring! We are so excited, we wet our plants.”