April 2018

Food For Thought

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April Fool’s Day

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

Douglas Adams

“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”

Max Eastman

“Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness.”

Sacha Guitry

No Housework Day – April 7

“Housework won’t kill you, but then again, why take the chance?”

  – Phyllis Diller

“The cruel irony of housework: people only notice when you don’t do it.”

Danielle Raine

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

Erma Bombeck

“I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.”

Roseanne Barr

“Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.”

Mario Buatta

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.” 

Erma Bombeck

Encourage Young Writers Day – April 19

“I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.”

Stephen King

“Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.”           –    Mark Twain

“Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.”

Ernest Hemingway

“First, find out what your hero wants, then just follow him!”

Ray Bradbury

“Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”

Barbara Kingsolver

“Everybody walks past a thousand story ideas every day. The good writers are the ones who see five or six of them. Most people don’t see any.” Orson Scott Card

Humorous Day – April 19

“It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person.”

Lindsey Richards

“If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”

  – The Funny Beaver

“My dentist told me I needed a crown. I was like, I know, right?” 

Elizabeth Acosta

“How’s the diet going?

Not good. I had eggs for breakfast.

Scrambled?

Cadbury.”

Pris Stronach

“Why aren’t iPhone chargers called apple juice?”

Donna Hogan

“No matter how old I get, I think I will always have to mentally sing the ABC’s to see what letter comes next.”

Sherri Lynn

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.”

Unknown

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” George Jessel

Earth Day – April 22

“A true conservationist is a man who knows that the world is not given by his fathers, but borrowed from his children.”

    – John James Audubon

“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.”

John Muir

“Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.”

Theodore Roosevelt

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

Jane Goodall

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”

  – Mahatma Gandhi

 Digging in the Dirt!

“Anyone who thinks gardening begins in the spring and ends in the fall is missing the best part of the whole year; for gardening begins in January with the dream.”

  – Josephine Neuse

Garden signs 

“Gardener Wanted. Must look good bending over.”

“Feel free to talk to these plants. They understand.”

“Overgrownus bontanicus – Weeds”

“Frog parking only. All others will be toad.”

“Trespassers will be composted.”

“Give a weed an inch and it will take a yard.”

“Compost is proof that there is life after death.”

“You know you’re a gardener when everything you see becomes a planter.”

“On a garden shop sign – It’s Spring! We are so excited, we wet our plants.”

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