National Author’s Day – Nov. 1
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”
– Dorothy Parker
“The only way you can truly get to know an author is through the trail of ink he leaves behind him. The person you think you see is only an empty character: truth is always hidden in fiction.”
– Carlos Ruiz Zafón
“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
By order of the author per G.G., Chief of Ordnance”
– Mark Twain
International Tongue Twisters Day – Nov. 7
(Give these a go!)
“Monuments make momentous men immortal, but more memorable are mortal men making mere moments monumental.”
– Joseph Gordon-Levitt
“A tooter who tooted a flute, tried to tutor two tutors to toot
Said the two to the tooter, ‘Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tutors to toot?”
“The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.”
Election Day – Nov. 6
“Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.”
– Gore Vidal
“Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“When widely followed public figures feel free to say anything, without any fact-checking, it becomes impossible for a democracy to think intelligently about big issues.”
– Thomas L. Friedman
“Pick a leader who will keep jobs in your country by offering companies incentives to hire only within their borders, not one who allows corporations to outsource jobs for cheaper labor when there is a national employment crisis. Choose a leader who will invest in building bridges, not walls. Books, not weapons. Morality, not corruption. Intellectualism and wisdom, not ignorance. Stability, not fear and terror. Peace, not chaos. Love, not hate. Convergence, not segregation. Tolerance, not discrimination. Fairness, not hypocrisy. Substance, not superficiality. Character, not immaturity. Transparency, not secrecy. Justice, not lawlessness. Environmental improvement and preservation, not destruction. Truth, not lies.”
– Suzy Kassem
Veteran’s Day – Nov. 11
“The veterans of our military services have put their lives on the line to protect the freedoms that we enjoy. They have dedicated their lives to their country and deserve to be recognized for their commitment.”
– Judd Gregg
“The valor and courage of our young women and men in the armed services are a shining example to all of the world, and we owe them and their families our deepest respect.”
– Bill Frist
“On this Veterans Day, let us remember the service of our veterans, and let us renew our national promise to fulfill our sacred obligations to our veterans and their families who have sacrificed so much so that we can live free.”
– Dan Lipinski
Thanksgiving – Nov. 22
“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”
– Oscar Wilde
“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.”
– W. Clement Stone
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Every Thanksgiving, we all write three things we’re thankful for and put them in a hat. Then we pass the hat around the dinner table and everyone has to guess who wrote what!”
– Debby Ryan
“My cooking was so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
– Phyllis Diller
Mark Twain’s Birthday – Nov. 30, 1835
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
– Mark Twain
“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
– Mark Twain
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.”
– Mark Twain
“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
– Mark Twain
“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”
– Mark Twain
“Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.”
– Mark Twain
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
– Mark Twain
“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”
– Mark Twain