Food For Thought

Print More

International Tell a Joke Day – July 1

The following humorous sayings are from Winston Churchill’s collection –

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”

“Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.”

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

Independence Day – July 4

“America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact — the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality.”

             Adlai Stevenson

“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.” 

           William Faulkner

National French Fries Day – July 13

“Unbelievable as it may seem, one-third of all vegetables consumed in the United States come from just three sources: french fries, potato chips and iceberg lettuce.” 

                 Marion Nestle

“Mission  Impossible: Not eating a french fry on the way home from the drive-thru.”

National Junk Food Day – July 21

“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and the junk food as far away as possible.” 

         Krista Scott-Dixon

“Junk food you craved for an hour, or the body you’ve craved for a lifetime? Your decision.”


“Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.”

Respect For Parents Day – August 1

“Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.” 


“A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone.” 

                   Billy Graham

“The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other.” 

                  Jan Blaustone

“Parents must be treated with respect, whether one wants to strangle them or not.” 

                 Loretta Chase

(Editor’s Note: Probably works the other way around, too.)

National Tell A Joke Day – August 16

“I saw a wino eating grapes. I told him, you gotta wait.” 

                Mitch Hedberg

“What do you call bears with no ears? B”

“I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. Sadly, no pun in 10 did.” 

“I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.” 

“What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R but it be the C.” 

Mosquito Day – August 20

“A baby mosquito came back after its first flight. Dad asked, ‘How did you feel?’ It replied, ‘Dad, it was wonderful. Everyone was clapping for me..’ Moral: Take everything positively.” 


“I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I’m delicious, but really….” 


“If only mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.”


“The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.”

                  Andy Warhol

National Parks Service Established – August 25, 1916

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity; and that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.”

                       John Muir

“Every single national park had some component of private philanthropy.” 

         Douglas Tompkins

Comments are closed.