Sports Day – August 1
“The only way to prove that you’re a good sport is to lose.” – Ernie Banks
“A trophy carries dust. Memories last forever.” – Mary Lou Retton
“I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it.” – Sandy Koufax
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.” – M. H. Anderson
American Family Day – August 2
Happiness is having a large loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
“My mother used to tell me that when push comes to shove, you always know who to turn to. That being a family isn’t a social construct but an instinct.” – Jodi Picoult
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa
“A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.” – Mary Karr
“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human, are created, strengthened and maintained.
– Winston Churchill
National Watermelon Day – August 3
“It’s watermelon weather, that summer kind of weather, when people get together and sing.” – Guy Webster
“Life is like eating a watermelon. You know you’re going to get some seeds; just spit them out, and take another bite.”
– Jeff Steinmann
“When one has tasted watermelon, he knows what angels eat.” – Mark Twain
Wizard of Oz Premiers – August 15, 1939
“As coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she’s not only merely dead. She’s really most sincerely dead!”
– Munchkin Coroner
“Almira Gulch, just because you own half the county doesn’t mean that you have the power to run the rest of us. For twenty-three years, I’ve been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now… well, being a Christian woman, I can’t say it!” – Auntie Em
“What makes a King out of a slave? Courage!”
– The Cowardly Lion
Dorothy: “How can you talk, if you haven’t got a brain?”
Scarecrow: “I don’t know. But, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?”
– The Wizard of Oz
National Tell a Joke Day – August 16
“The trouble with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, ‘Are you tracking your steps?’
‘No,’ said the little girl. ‘I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.’”
– Reader’s Digest
“The main function of your little toe is to make sure that all the furniture in your house is in place.”
– Kim Byers
“Kids’ toys should come with better warning labels like ‘EXTREMELY LOUD’ and ‘NO OFF SWITCH’ and ‘REQUIRES 217 BATTERIES’” – Pinterest
“Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. In fact, he said, ‘I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an old eighth grade math quiz.’” – Reader’s Digest
“I asked my grandpa, ‘After 65 years, you still call Grandma darling, beautiful and honey. What’s your secret?’ He said, ‘I forgot her name five years ago and I’m scared to ask her.’”
American Dance Week – Third week in August
“I dance because there’s no greater feeling in the world than moving a piece of music and letting the rest of the world disappear.”
– Jackrabbitdance.com
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
National Golf Month – August
“Golf, like measles, should be caught young.” – P. G. Wodehouse
“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
– Dave Berry