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April Fools’ Day – April 1

“I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.”
– Alan Coren

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”
– Will Rogers

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
– Douglas Adams

International Children’s Book Day – April 2

“There are many little ways to enlarge your world. Love of books is the best of all.”
– Jacqueline Kennedy

“Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere.”
– Mary Schmich

“I know you’ll be kind… and clever… and bold. And the bigger your heart, the more it will hold. When nights are black and when days are gray—you’ll be brave and be bright so no shadows can stay. And become anybody that you’d like to be. And then I’ll look at you and you’ll look at me and I’ll love you, whoever you’ve grown up to be.”
– The Wonderful Things You Will Be by Emily Winfield Martin

No Housework Day – April 7

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire or block the refrigerator, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
– Erma Bombeck

“The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes.”
– Unknown

“Ah, Sunday, a day of rest… REST of the laundry, REST of the housework, and REST of all the other stuff I didn’t get to do this past week.”

National Sibling Day – April 10

“Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.”
– Sam Levenson

“The advantage to growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
– Robert Brault

“The greatest gift our parents gave us was each other.”
– Unknown

President Lyndon Johnson Signs the Civil Rights Act – April 11, 1964

“Equality is not in regarding different things similarly; equality is in regarding different things differently.”
–Tom Robbins

“The humanity of all Americans is diminished when any group is denied rights granted to others.”
– Julian Bond

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies…but the silence of our friends.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

“A democracy cannot thrive where power remains unchecked and justice is reserved for a select few. Ignoring these cries and failing to respond to this movement is simply not an option — for peace cannot exist where justice is not served.”
– John Lewis

National Library Week – second week in April

“If you have a garden and a library, you have all you need.”
– Cicero

“It’s still National Library Week. You should be especially nice to a librarian today, or tomorrow. Sometime this week, anyway. Probably the librarians would like tea. Or chocolates. Or a reliable source of funding.”
– Neil Gaiman

Income Tax Day – April 15

“You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart.”
– David Rockefeller

“The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.”
– Thomas Dewar

Pet Owners Day – April 18

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
– Robert A. Heinlein

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.”
– Dave Barry

Humorous Day – April 19
National Humor Month

(OK… this leads me to puns. Groaning is expected.)
Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.
My friend David had his ID stolen. Now he’s just Dav
Went to this horrible bar called The Fiddle; it really was a vile inn.
Where did the terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, Back
Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He’s in ICU.

Earth Day – established April 22, 1970

“The Earth is what we all have in common.”
– Wendall Berry

“Away, away, from men and towns, To the wild wood and the downs,
To the silent wilderness, Where the soul need not repress its music.”
– Percy Bysshe Shelley

Administrative Professional/Secretary’s Day – April 27

“No one is more cherished in this world than someone who lightens the burden of another.”
– The Fresh Quotes

National Garden Month

“Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).”
– Anonymous

“A garden is a grand teacher. It teaches patience and careful watchfulness; it teaches industry and thrift; above all it teaches entire trust.”
– Gertrude Jekyll

“The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul.”
– Alfred Austin

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