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International Joke Day July 1

“Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He’s in ICU.”
“Where did the terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, Back”
“Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be doing inside jokes.”
“Went to this horrible bar called The Fiddle, it really was a vile inn.”

Independence Day July 4

“I’d like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free and wanted other people to be also free.”
– Rosa Parks

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
– Nelson Mandela

“Freedom is one of the deepest and noblest aspirations of the human spirit.”
– Ronald Reagan

Apollo 11 lifts off on its voyage to the moon July 16, 1969

“Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.”
– NASA astronaut Neil Armstrong after landing on the moon July 20, 1969

“Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the moon. July 1969 A.D. We came in peace for all mankind.”
– plaque on lunar module

Ice cream cone introduced July 23, 1904

“Tomorrow, we can eat broccoli, but today is for ice cream.”
– Malory Hobson

“I make ice cream disappear. What’s your super power?”

American Family Day August 7

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”
– Jane Howard

“The family has always been the cornerstone of American society. Our families nurture, preserve and pass on to each succeeding generation the values we share and cherish, values that are the foundation of our freedoms.”
– Ronald Reagan

“It is the family that gives us a deep private sense of belonging. Here we first begin to have our self defined for us.”
– Howard Thurman

“If we don’t change, millions of American families are just one medical emergency or one layoff away from financial disaster and bankruptcy.”
– Jim Cooper

International Left-Handers Day August 13

“If the left half of the brain controls the right half of the body, then only left-handed people are in their right mind.”
– W.C Fields

“It’s a left-handed thing… you wouldn’t understand.”
– All left-handed people

American Dance Week – Third week of August

“To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.”
– Hopi proverb

“We are never more truly and profoundly human than when we dance.”
– Jose Limon

Roller Coaster patented August 16, 1898

“To the guy who invented the roller coasters? Thanks, but no thanks.”
– Unknown

“Can someone go back and get my stomach for me?”
– Unknown

Be an Angel Day August 22

“You cannot do kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Compassion isn’t about solutions. It’s about giving all the love that you’ve got.”
– Cheryl Strayed

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

Women’s Equality Day August 26, 1920 (19th Amendment passed)

“To be free is not to have the power to do anything you like; it is to be able to surpass the given toward an open future.” 
– Simone de Beauvoir

“Feminism isn’t about making women stronger. Women are already strong, it’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.” 
– G.D. Anderson

“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” 
– Susan B. Anthony

Dream Day – Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech given August 28, 1963

 “…in the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.”

“It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment.”

National Recreation Month – August

“Recreation and diversion are as necessary to our well-being as the more serious pursuits of life.”
– Brigham Young

“People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness.”
– John Wanamaker

“The real problem with leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.”
– Arthur Lacey

National Golf Month – August

“You know what they say about a big hitter. The woods are full of them.”
– Jimmy Demaret

“If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.”
– Horace G. Hutchinson

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