International Joke Day July 1
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
– Steve Martin
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
– Erma Bombeck
“A man and a woman were traveling on a train. ‘Every time you smile I want to invite you to my place,’ said the woman. ‘Awww… are you single?’ said the man. The woman responded, ‘ No, I’m a dentist.’”
– pinterest
“Diet Day #1 – I removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.”
– Tee Public
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey
Independence Day – July 4
“The American flag represents all of us and all the values we hold sacred.”
– Adrian Cronauer
“My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.”
– Abraham Lincoln
“May we think of freedom not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right.”
– Peter Marshall
“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.”
– Harry S. Truman
Ice cream cone first introduced – July 23, 1904
“Never ask a girl eating ice cream straight from the tub how she’s doing.”
– theroadtripexpert
“I go running when I have to. When the ice cram truck is going forty.”
– Wendy Liebman
“I make ice cream disappear. What’s your superpower?”
– pinterest
NASA established – July 29, 1958
“The vision of NASA is to reveal the unknown for the benefit of all humankind.”
– Victor J. Glover
“I don’t know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets.”
– Astronaut John Glenn
“Through you, we feel as giants, once again.”
– President Ronald Regan to the crew of the first shuttle mission
National Hot Dog Month
“A hot dog at the ball game beats roast beef at the Ritz.”
– Humphrey Bogart
“How does an enthusiastic man eat hot dogs? With relish.”
– pug jokes
National Recreation Month
“Leave all the afternoon for exercise and recreation, which are as necessary as reading. I will rather say more necessary because health is worth more than learning.”
– Thomas Jefferson
“If bread is the first necessity of life, then recreation is a close second.”
– Edward Bellamy
American Family Day – August 6
“There is no institution more vital to our Nation’s survival than the American family. Here the seeds of personal character are planted, the roots of public virtue first nourished. Through love and instruction, discipline, guidance and example, we learn from our mothers and fathers the values that will shape our private lives and our public citizenship.”
– Ronald Reagan
“Blended families: woven together by choice, strengthened together by love, tested by everything, and each uniquely ours.”
– Unknown
International Left-Handers Day – August 13
“Four out of the five original designers of the MacIntosh computer were left handed.”
– beingaleftytumblr.com
“Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like, ‘I don’t know how to use a pencil.’”
– themetapicture.com
National Relaxation Day – August 15
“Together with a culture of work, there must be a culture of leisure as gratification. To put it another way: people who work must take the time to relax, to be with their families, to enjoy themselves, read, listen to music, play a sport.”
– Pope Francis
“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
– Sydney J. Harris
“Sometimes the best solution is to rest, relax and recharge. It’s hard to be your best on empty.”
– Sam Glenn
Mosquito Day – August 20
“I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive.”
– jokesquotesfactory.com
Be an Angel Day – August 22
“You cannot do kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
– Scott Adams
“Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.”
– Wes Angelozzi
Women’s Equality Day – August 26
“The women of today are the thoughts of their mothers and grandmothers, embodied and made alive. They are active, capable, determined and bound to win. They have one-thousand generations back of them… Millions of women dead and gone are speaking through us today”
– Matilda Joslyn Gage
National Golf Month
“If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation, If you work at it, it’s golf.”
– Bob Hope
“I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.”
– former President Gerald R. Ford