The Hartford Courant on December 31 published a bunch of imaginative headlines suggested by the newspaper’s staff, like AMAZON PICKS HARTFORD and Legislature Finds $4 Billion Under Couch Cushions. So I decided to ask for some from my companions on New Year’s Eve, but these requested headlines would be for The Suffield Observer.
Here are some examples of what was on the mind of these revelers: Suffield Native Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Community Center to Open with Pool, Suffield Schools Make Shocking Decision to Ban Homework (there was one hopeful youngster present).
This was mostly a library group, so the submissions included: Library Moves Home!, and Meteor Strikes Library, Town Forced to Build New One, also, separately, Mystery Donor Funds New Library.
A UConn basketball fan offered: Trump & Pence Resign, Government Taken Over by Geno and UConn Women.
At midnight, the flashing ball descended over a frigid Times Square, and we went home in Suffield to our dreams for the future.